A DEEPER DARK
by Tarja Azami
Summary: NC yaoi. His beautiful face is twisted with worry. He looks at me, his eyes pleading for some sign of comfort. I have only one thing to give you Cloud and it's physical.


_A/N this story contains violence; blood, NC and a slight obsessive theme so if you don't like reading fics like that PLEASE don't read it! Two character deaths, sorry for all you Barret fans._ A DEEPER DARK 

I stand alone in the forest, shrouded by the darkness. The night is cold though I can't feel it. I cease to feel anything anymore. I only know it is cold because of the wind that disorientates me as I make my way. I look amongst the ghost images thrown back by the trees; their branches reaching out to me like claws. I do not fear this place, it comforts me. The night is my friend, masking me like the shadow so many people claim I am, and it suits me. I did not wish to be known by man. Ha, mankind, such a pathetic existence. Trying their best to make the most of their short lives. So vulnerable, even the strongest of man, a bullet to the chest, a twist of the neck and they're dead. It's so easy and I enjoy it. I do not excuse the nature fate has dealt me, I harness it. I am immortal; I live from the blood of man. Blood is the biggest energy on earth, the thing all man needs to live, and I take it. It is my need to have it, why let a pathetic person who is never going to be someone have it? It belongs to me. Humans are like livestock to me, I am their condemner.

I cannot remember how long I have been a child of the night, after so many years you forget. I'm not the Vincent Valentine people thought they knew. Time changes a man.

No one has ever really known me, except her. My darling Lucretia. The woman I loved for so many years and blinded me to the world. I try to avoid falling in love but no one can rule the heart. Not even I. I've twisted and manipulated the word love so many times; I don't know what it is anymore. They say without love your heart goes cold, but I have no heart. Maybe I'm not meant to love. It is the only thing I fear in this forsaken world. How cowardly it seems, being afraid of something you can't even see. I've done terrible things in my life; I have a blackened soul. I am not worthy of the feeling so many mortals depend upon. I stand alone and it will never change. If I were to fall in love, I'd have to ask myself would I love them when they're 50? Or would I love them when they're close to death? I know I never could. Could I make them immortal like myself? A life of loneliness and darkness that you fight for eternity.

So many times I've wondered why I still go on. Why do I not end the hell I am living? The answer is simple. I don't want to be weak. I have been weak before and now I am a monster. My demons, my clawed hand, they are all a sign of my weakness and I will not fall prey to that mistake again. The devil that put this curse on me will not win. What a journey as a vampire it has been! Over the centuries people have been delving into our lives like dogs. Some of the things they claim are so far fetched. I feel sorry for the punks in China, with red contacts. But the funniest thing I ever heard was this. In order to keep a vampire occupied all night you place poppy seeds or millet on their grave, so they would count the seeds all night as alternate to hunting. Well whatever helps them sleep at night. I just wonder what thick idiot went about putting the seeds on the graves!

There is a point in every man's life when they have to reassert themselves. Change the way they live. I vowed never to be a part of man and yet I have friends. I'd never let them into my world. They see in me what I want them to see. I hide behind walls of illusion and misdirection. I guess you could say I see life as a game. I'm the only player and everyone else are pawns on the chessboard I've created. My friends don't know I'm out here, if they did they wouldn't question it, they know better.

They sky line lights up as the sun pushes away the night. I pull my cloak closer to my face, and put my 'mask' on. In no time at all I'm back to the place we call home, ready to start the day and be whom I want them to believe I am. This is no home. It's a place to be. Home is somewhere you can kick back and relax. How can anyone relax with the lights of Yuffie, Tifa, Cid, and Barret!

No one is up yet so I sit down and take my gun out of its holdings. I imagine a cushion is the people who have angered me in the past few days. Why do I tolerate them? BANG Yuffie Kisaragi BANG Barret Wallace. I could go on forever. I hear someone stirring upstairs and put my gun away. A moment later and, speak of the devil, Barret walks in. I stare at him blatantly, cooking up ways I could kill him in my head. The morning isn't too bright yet, I could do it. No one would know.

"What you looking at?" he asks me in a challenging way.

I choose not to answer him, instead I continue to look at him. I want to get him angry. Give me the smallest reason and you're dead.

"Hey, wierdo you listening?"

"I can hear you fine" I reply a small playing on my face, itching to present itself. "Come with me Wallace, I have something to show you." I tell him standing up. The big oaf just stands there, taken back by the statement.

"Why? What do ya want?" he asks cautiously, and with reason I might add.

"Oh trust me you'll love it, it's a peace offering." I pause a moment for effect. "I don't want to fight you anymore Barret."

He must've been shocked to hear this because he walked right into the table I'd been sitting at. Small things are really effective. I call people by their last names and when I simply call them by their first name, they buy anything! I leave the room, confident he will follow me, out of curiosity if nothing else. Which he did.

I led him to the forest, surprised he's followed me that far, and stopped to face him.

"Well, what is it? I don't see anything, what's going on?" he asked dumb founded. I could hear the fear in his voice. Now I wanted to see it play on his face. I grinned maliciously at him and said as calmly as I could "Barret Wallace, you're going to die." That worked a treat. His whole face dropped and he turned and ran. I let him run so far then gave chase. I saw him hide behind a tree, how typical. As silent as I'd learned to be I climbed. He was looking around frantically; his breathing was ragged from all the running. If I hadn't seen him, I would've heard him from a mile away. When I was directly above him I descended. He fell to the floor and gasped in surprise, then lashed out at me, which I easily evaded. Laughter escaped me as I fought him. I put my face close to his and brushed my lips down his cheek. I could smell his musky scent underneath the sharp smell of his perspiration. He turned his face away in disgust. I took my opening and bit into his neck. He screamed and struggled but it was of no use. Euphoria washed over me as I drank his blood. I revelled in the metallic taste of it. I drank until I could take no more and stood up to clean myself off. Once I was satisfied I'd removed all traces of blood; I straddled his corpse and took a knife from my cloak. I cut up his dead form, to hide the real cause of death, and then I left.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Has anyone seen Barret today?" Cloud asked worriedly.

I look up from the book I am reading and watch him pace the room. He looks divine today. Black jeans and a black T-shirt that hugs his body perfectly. I notice as I watch him that you can see his abs through the T-shirt when his body twists. I begin to undress him with my eyes. Creamy skin, I wonder how it tastes. Well defined body, without flaw, or has he? A strong physique, I'd love to know how strong he really is. I can imagine possessing him, staring at his naked form as he lies bound to my bed. Oh the things I would do! If only he knew the real meanings behind the way I look at him. He drives me insane. He makes me feel out of control and I hate that. He's teasing me, he begs to be touched. He's so dam sexy, and he doesn't mean to be. That's the worse part, he's torturing me and he doesn't even realise it. His eyes are the sexiest things. He can sure use them! Whenever he's preoccupied with something, I stare at him, without fear of being caught. Then all of a sudden he'll flick his eyes up and they'd be looking directly into mine. It takes my breath away.

"You know we should go look for him. He's been gone all day." Aerith piped up.

"It's only the evening. How do you know he's not at a friend's house or off to see Marlene? He's a man not a child. He can look after himself."

"Nanaki's right." Cloud said "Give it till tomorrow, okay? If he doesn't call or come home then we'll figure out what to do then. If it'll put your mind at ease you could ring him, or have a quick look around, while it's still light."

Yuffie jumped up. Why can't she do anything normal? "I'll call him." With that she went into the passage and dialled his number. A moment later she came in looking grave. "His mobile's off. That's not like him. He always keeps it on in case Marlene calls."

I could tell the news affected their previous manner of Barret's disappearance, but they tried to remain positive.

"Okay. We'll all go look for him then." Nanaki said slightly shakily.

Cloud objected. "No guys, what if it's dangerous?"

"That's all the more reason to go look for him if you ask me." I said, adding to the drama that I was enjoying watching.

"Okay. You guys go … I'll stay here in case he calls or comes back." He reasoned. Was Cloud scared? Did he not want to go, for fear of what's out there? I couldn't see Cloud as the cowardly type so I doubted that, but suppressed laughter at the fact danger is here with me.

I sat and watched as everyone filed out. Cid stopped at the door and turned to face me.

"Are you coming?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think so Highwind." I reply. Now if there is one person who I feel can see inside me it's him. I have to work twice as hard to conceal my true nature when I'm around him, because he's too lain back to buy it. He's my only problem, but getting rid of him is hard. I've tried to trick him but he can see right through it, or he's too busy with his airship. But if there's one thing I have in my life it's patience. I can wait forever.

He sighs and leaves, closing the door behind him, but only slightly. The door blows open and Cloud strides over to close it properly, sealing his fate. You're mine now. I will have to act quickly; I have no idea when the others will be back. One thing is for sure; I will get my way. You will be mine Cloud Strife, like it or not.

I spend a minute looking at him as he sits at the table. His beautiful face is twisted with worry. If only he knew what I have in store for him. He looks at me, his eyes pleading for some sign of comfort. I have only one thing to give you Cloud, and it's physical.

I stand up and walk over to him. I stop when I'm right in front of him. He leans backwards in his chair, confusion lacing his features.

"Um Vincent" he lets out a nervous laugh "what are you doing?"

I violently push him in the chest. His chair topples over and he crashes to the floor, slightly dazed. I shove his discarded chair out of the way and straddle his hips. His azure eyes lock onto mine. I reach into my cloak and rest my hand on my knife. His eyes widen in fear as his ears are filled with the metallic sound of the knife being taken from its scabbard. The same one I used to kill your friend, did you know that Cloud? He panics and tries to fend me off. I bring my hand up to gently caress his face. For a second he warms to my touch before slapping my hand away. I hush him quietly and run my knife over his pale full lips.

"Vincent please, don't do this." He begs, tears welling in his eyes. That's right cry for me Cloud. I take the knife away from his lips and slowly cut his T-shirt, making sure he can feel the blade on his bare stomach. I cut it all the way up to the collar, then tear it off, our eyes still locked together. I steal a look at his body. He's more beautiful than anything I could've imagined is. My fingers absent-mindedly trace the contours of his chest. He has a very well defined stomach. I trace a finger into the welts of each ab, marvelling at the suppleness he has. I delicately brush a finger over one of his nipples. I hungrily claim his lips with mine, locking us together in a brutal kiss. I bite down hard onto his lips and the ferrous taste of his blood rushes into my mouth. He whimpers and the tears that were threatening to spill cascade down his face.

"Your tears won't save you Cloud, they mean nothing to me." My words bite through him almost as if I had actually done so. His whole face contorts with pain. I trace butterfly kisses down his face and neck, and begin to grind my hips against his, caught in the fever of the moment. He grabs my shoulders and tries to lift me off of him. I strike him across the face and raise his arms above his head, pinning his wrists to the floor with my clawed hand.

"Vincent." He pleads.

I lean down putting us face to face. I brush my face against his until I'm near his ear. I inhale the scent of his hair then press my face harder against his and hiss into his ear "shut up!" I raise my voice towards the end, making him gasp and cower into my shoulder.

I slide my free hand down his stomach and tear his trousers down. He screams in fear and rage and fights with all the strength he has. He manages to get an arm free and I feel his fist connect with the side of my face. I howl in anger and lash out myself. He wriggles out from under me and shoves me in the chest with his foot, knocking me back. He lifts himself and runs towards the door. I reach out and grab his ankle. He falls to the floor and quickly turns to face me. He uses his free leg to kick at my wrist.

"Get the fuck OFF!" He yells with barely concealed hate.

I pull him back towards me and run to the door, locking it. By now he's rose from the floor and is staring around desperately for a way out.

"That was your first mistake Cloud." I leer at him then in confident steps I stride towards him. He turns and runs from the room. I hear his foot falls on the stairs.

"It won't save you Cloud, you can't hide from me." I bellow in a childish voice.

I know where he's gone. It's like second nature to run to your bedroom … or if you're a girl, the bathroom. I see the bathroom door is open so I go to his bedroom door. I rap upon it three times then slide my hand down to the handle and slowly turn it. I like to strike fear into my victims. It makes a mockery of their judgement and when you can't think straight you slip up. I can just imagine him looking at the handle like it holds the secrets of the universe. It's locked. I violently try the handle over and over; anger coursing through me like poison, then an idea strikes me. I stop shaking the handle and quietly move to the side of the door against the wall, where the hinges are.

Several minutes of complete silence pass, then I hear him move. I hear the turn of the key in the lock. The sound almost deafens after the moments of silence. He opens the door slightly. Through the crack in the door I see a small part of his face. His breathing is shaky and I can tell from the sounds of it, he's on the verge of tears. He lets out a deep shaky breath and his breathing intensifies accompanied by occasional whimpers. I reach a hand up and viciously slam the door into him, sending him sprawling to the floor. He props himself up on his elbows and watches me as I advance.

"Vincent please. Don't do this." He cries, tears falling down his flawless face. His voice is choked with the sobs constantly escaping him. "I'm begging you. Please. If you stop this I won't tell anyone. I can forget this ever happened."

"Opening that door was your second mistake Cloud, and sometimes one can get you killed."

He drops to the floor in defeat. I kick his legs apart and kneel in between them. I tuck my hands into the bands of his underwear and pull them down greedily. He lifts slightly, like doing a sit up but then flops back down onto the floor. Now he lay at my mercy. I spend a moment taking in every feature of his body. The moon in the now dark sky casts his body in a silver glow. He lies trembling. His whole body looks tense. Trepidation has him pinned to the floor.

His thighs are long and white and make a whispering sound as I run my hands up them. I slowly begin to work my way up his body massaging it slowly, and then I reach his cock. Arousal burns inside me as I watch him clamp his lip between his teeth, his breathing deep. With reluctance I stand and take off my clothes, keeping an eye on him in case he moves. I see his eyes widen for a brief second.

"Do you like what you see Cloud?" I speak to him like I would a lover. He turns his head away, his face a medley of expressions. He looks like he's fighting some sort of internal argument. I look away and take my knife from my discarded cloak.

"Yes" he says, his voice small and echo like. I freeze upon hearing this. The knife in my hand clatters to the floor and lands near his foot. I wait for him to speak again, to give me some inclination that what I thought I heard is what he said. He says nothing so I resume my kneeling position. He suddenly turns to me, locking ours eyes together once again. He seemed very angry with himself, then again his face was so hard to read that I don't think I could've worked it out if you'd have given me a book on it!

"I have always liked you Vincent, but you never gave me anything to believe you felt the same way." His words were punctured by a long considered pause "I guess we both spent our time denied."

His words wind me. My mind goes blank. With a passionate urgency I bring my lips to his and kiss him lightly, testing him. He doesn't resist, so with more need I deepen the kiss. I slide my tongue into his mouth to massage his velvet one. I need more from him, this isn't enough. I want to make us one. I want to be under his skin, be every breath he takes. I want him to want me as much as I want him. His hand rests on my back now in some form of hug. He begins to circulate his fingers up my spine, in a soothing way, then wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me closer.

I slide my hands down his perfect form and with a little trouble get my hands underneath him. I lift him slightly off the ground and insert my fingers into the hot cavern of his buttocks. He yelps and bolts up grabbing my hand and taking it out.

"Don't you think we should wait? I mean we've only just told each other about how we feel and well it's a bit fast. I want to do this properly don't you?" Something about the way he said it really pissed me off. He spoke really quickly, like a person desperate to prove their innocence on trial.

"You sound like you're making excuses Cloud, I don't think you're being sincere at all. You only said those words to make me stop. It almost worked too; you played the right card. You've never known how much I have wanted you. So it makes me angry, the fact that you're a pathetic selfless liar. Why tell me now? If what you claim is true you could've told me before now. I know you don't feel the same way. I've seen what you're like around Tifa, you like her not I. I set all this up Cloud; I killed Barret and drank his blood. I'm a vampire. I didn't expect you to stay when you heard he'd gone but I'm glad you did. Because now I have you all to myself and after so many years of waiting I'm not going to stop because of your lies. I will have you tonight Cloud so you may as well make it easy on yourself…"

I grab his right ankle and rag it to the left, and then I grab his left ankle and slide it to the right, turning him onto his stomach. He tries to climb to his feet but my hands that are still clamped to his ankles prevent this. He will pay for his deception with his blood. I spread his legs wide and penetrate him, with savage unyielding thrusts. The louder he screams the more I try to hurt him. I love the feel of complete power I have over him. The more I hurt him the more powerful, the more stronger, I become.

I see a glint at the corner of my eyes and take up the knife. As I thrust into him I press the knife against his side and drag it up to his ribs, creating a deep gash. He screams and cries at the same time and puts a hand to the wound. I create another deep gash across his back; he buckles and almost throws me off him. I strike him across the small of his back with my free hand. His hands splay at the sides of him. I take my knife and drive it down sending it straight into his right hand, pinning it to the floor. He automatically tries to turn and ease it out. I lean down and suck the blood from the wound up his back.

Time seems to stop as I abuse him; his cries of agony never cease. I feel a sudden hot flush, my body glistens with a thin sheen of sweat. Both our breaths come in pants, mine from pleasure, and his from pain and ordeal. The pleasure I feel reminds me of waves, rolling up and down my body. Every nerve in my body is tense and screaming for release. My whole body is stiff. My breathing becomes faster and faster. My body is in overload. My orgasm is powerful and sends a scalding scream from my throat. I flop forward onto his back, and wait a few moments to get my breath back. I don't know when he stopped screaming but Cloud just lays there crying.

At length, I stand; it is only at this point that I realise I am covered in his blood. For some reason it makes what I've done all that more pleasing. I go to the bathroom and wash all the blood off, and then I go back into the bedroom to dress. Cloud is still on the floor motionless. I go over to him and turn him onto his back. His face is ghostly pale and his skin is clammy. His eyes open slowly, like the movement was of too much effort for him. I will not deny that my throat constricted when I saw him this way. His eyes roam about the room, almost as though he doesn't know where he is. At last they come to rest on me. His eyes, which were once so full of life and sparkle, are now dull and empty. He coughs harshly and struggles to retain his breath. Then he opens his mouth and says in a weak, heart-breaking tone

"I … wasn't lying … I really truly like you Vin- Vincent." He coughs again and his eyes roll to the back of his head. I shake him roughly and try to swallow the lump in my throat. My nose tingles and my sight becomes blurred as silent tears fall briefly down my face. I lay him down gently onto the floor again and leave, never to return to this place again.

- - - - - - - - - -

Inside the house 

The phone rings downstairs, eventually it turns to the answer machine. Yuffie's voice rings throughout the whole house, sounding heavy and sick.

"Cloud? Please pick up, this is important" Her voice is thick with tears. Her breathing can be heard. She is obviously trying to calm herself down, but then just gives in and lets the tears fall. "Oh Cloud, its Barret. We found him. Someone … someone … killed him. They cut him up and left him to die. Who would do that? Cloud if you're there please pick up. There's someone out here and I want to know your okay. We're coming home where it's safe … What are we going to do? … We can't just leave Barret here; we'll bring him back. Oh why did this have to happen to us? I'll see you when I get back. Don't worry, we'll all look out for each other."

THE END


End file.
